Thursday, March 15, 2018

You Own It

Have a memory I'd like to share. After the 1st tumor was removed(I packed on 90 lbs from orally taking Prednisone as well as injections and poor eating habits, so I was obese at this point) I developed daily chronic headaches, endured four years of being a guinea pig and was pretty much bed bound as moving my head was not an option. It wasn't until Feb 2012 that they told me I was a candidate for an Occipital nerve stimulator. In March I had the surgery. My relationship failed and I moved back home with my parents, where I could recoup from the surgery. 

I wasn't allowed to lift anything over 5 lbs or even bend over for that matter for 2 months. My parents were amazing at taking care of me and Mowgli. In July, I got my very own apartment.They would come down to help me run errands or doctors appointments.  I was very self conscious about my stim. Any time I was in line at the grocery store, I would ask Dad if it was covered up. He always checked if I asked. There were a few times where it wasn't and I saw people looking at me like I was an alien. I can recall a time I busted out the inner child in me and said to someone "take a picture, it lasts longer" I remember a time that my parents picked me up and we went to JCPenney outlet. 

Mom and I were looking at the clothing. Dad was probably sitting on a chair taking a nap. I had already lost a significant amount of weight from vomiting but we still didn't have a diagnosis until the winter of 2013. The point is...I needed clothing. I need to stop rambling and get to the point.
Mama knows my style and she found a really cute shirt that she knew I would like. She called me over and one look at it and I was in full panic mode. It was a one shoulder shirt. The stim would be seen. No, Mom!!!!!  Why she asked. People will be able to see the stim. I'm seriously freaking out on the inside but trying to hide my poker face to her. She calls me out on it.  That's what Mama's do. They just know.


Danielle ____ ____ ____(when you hear all 4 names 1. you are either in big trouble or 2. she means business) "You own it" she said. And I knew exactly what she meant.
I tried on that shirt. I felt pretty in it. I bought the shirt.
Those 3 words forever changed my life.
Thank you, Mama!
From that day forward, I owned it. I began wearing off the shoulder shirts to show off my prized possession.
I am bionic. I am Dani Mite. I am me.
"I'm not scared to be seen
I make no apologies 
This is me"