ONS

1. March 2013 I had my surgery for the occipital nerve stimulator implanted.  I remember being in the recovery room and Dr. A coming in to check up on me.  I held his hand and cried.  I thanked him for all he had done for me as I was pain free. The first time in four years. He shed a few tears himself.

A couple weeks ago, I noticed that I wasn't getting a good charge.  Last week, I called the company and explained what was happening and they think the charging unit needed to be replaced, but warned me that it's a long process as it needs to be submitted through insurance.  I asked if she could email the paperwork to me(which she did) and I would print it out and fax it back.

1. Tuesday, B helped me do it.  My rep called me this evening.  He was asking questions and I was answering him back.  Since my remote had full bars, he doesn't believe it's the charger, but the implant itself.  *sigh*
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3. I told him of the major weight loss and how it sticks out a good 1.4"-1/2" out of my back.  He gave me the number to where the procedure will be done if I want it.  He said they would cut me open, remove the unit, replace it with a new one, put some stitches in it and I would go home the same day.  He said it's a simple procedure. Um, I don't know how I feel about that.  Surgery of any kind scares me as I have CVS and need special medications due to adrenal failure as well.  

So, for now, he said to keep an eye on the charge on the remote, clean the docking unit with rubbing alcohol and if  I want the surgery, that's always an option.  He also mentioned he would hate for me to get charged for the charger itself if that's not the problem.

I think I hit something and that's the reasons for the numbers showing up and I can't seem to get rid of them, so.......oh well.

When I had the surgery done in 2013, they wanted to put it in my lower back.  I did tons of research and found a women online that had it done under her shoulder blade.  I went to the drs office and told him that's where I wanted mine.  He said "I've never done one there before"

I told him how I thought it was stupid to put the ONS in my lower back and run the leads up into my head.  Having it under my shoulder blade on my back made much more sense.  And so, he agreed.

It's always a good thing to be your own advocate.  Let your voice be heard.

Therapy & Mediation

Whew.  Feels amazing to be human again.  An entire week of living in hell with CVS.  Didn't think I was going to see the "light" again and was actually afraid that I might have to go to the hospital.  It was that bad!

I woke up Tuesday and got sick, but knew I had my first therapy appointment and could not miss it.  My session went well and felt so much better(mentally).  B asked if I wanted to go to mediation.  I wasn't sick after the morning and told her "sure."

She had to run to the store and then home to pick up P.  She made me the best damn cup of tea and I relaxed for a bit.  My tailbone is sticking out again and asked P if he could check it for me.  He couldn't adjust me as the RV didn't have the heater turned on.  Most of the pain was from laying in bed for a week.  If it acts up again, I will let him know.  I keep losing weight and things are bound to pop out.

We hopped in the car and went to their business.  In total, there were 5 people there.  We began to mediate.  I went in right away.  I saw people dancing in colorful clothing, cake, a wall crash down, orbs of every color in the rainbow.  The lead in my head was going to town!  I saw a figure of a person holding a sphere above its hands.  Colors dancing.  It seemed to come up to the top of my head and down my body and that's when P turned the music off.

I told them it was like Cirque du Soleil on an acid trip.  I've never seen/done either.  It was weird, epic and amazing.  I felt amazing, too.  Like, I was hungry.  I stood up and walked around and B said "I've been with this girl all day, she could barely walk and now look at her." It was seriously like night and day.P got up and grab a picture in a frame and asked if I had seen this person while I was meditating.  I had not.  I should of asked him who she was.

EJ asked if anyone wanted to grab a bit to eat and we all went to a local diner and grubbed.  I had eggs, wheat toast and scrapple.  It was the first meal I had in an entire week!

Last night, I had a long talk with him.  I told him how sick I was.  How he didn't even come upstairs to check on him.  How I had to sit on my butt, slide down the steps to wake him up...five times!  No more.  I told him to set an alarm on his phone and wake himself up to go to bed.  I got a lot off of my chest last night as he is the ones I talked about in my first session.

We also ran to Aldi to go food shopping last night.

Today, I did a load of laundry, recycling, made up his lunch, cooked dinner, took Mo for a walk and talked to Mama.  It was a good day.  I did wake up with a weird rash under my left eye.  Doesn't hurt but have no idea where it came from.  Ma thinks maybe from being sick for so long.  Dunno.

I weighed myself.  131.  FUCK!!!!

No worries though because I will gain some back.  My weight goes up and down, especially when I am in a long episode.

I feel like I am forgetting something to say.......

Dunno.  Oh well. 😂